The Secret of Politics

No guys and gals, I won't tell you illegal things like how to kill people from behind with a crowbar angled at 66.67 degree from the vertical plane of the ground and wearing canvas shoes. I won't even tell you how to smuggle tons of cocaine in your check proof suitcase and underwear from the pits of Latin America. I will tell you, or rather I should say remind you about the old classical good old days of what our grandfathers used to call good old politics.
You may often lament at those long gone days of Hitler, Stalin, Roosevelt, Churchill, Genghis, Attila, they are of the same era I guess. Anyway what matters is that their politics was similar. And Old Age. There were no great underground(literally) conspiracies, lots of corruption, etc. What the old folks miss the most is that they had to place a 1000 million Rupees for getting a Passport. Nowadays it has become too simple and for the dimwits. Only children carry passports. Older ones just cross the countries in containers.
The characteristics of a good politician will be(imho)

• He should take donations gracefully
• He should act as God's servant and decide the fate of a Man/or preferably a Woman
• He should be sexually deviant
• He should have at least 1 scandal per week
• He should not lose his sleep over the starvation of the people.
• He should consider men as votes or better vote giving machines etc